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Bisexual friends

As someone who felt like the only bi boy in the world, I wanted to run over and hug him. However, when I eventually got talking to this friend of a friend, things could not have gone worse. Forget never meet your heroes, never meet your fellow bi guys. I was basically shut out from all conversation and told I was secretly gay — by a bisexual man. That hurt. I thought meeting another bisexual would mean we would instantly be friends, that we would have so much to talk about, that it would be us against the world. But the truth is, there have been bisexuals along the way that have been horrible.

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By Matt Broomfield. In gay sci-fi writer Samuel Delany's far-future epic Stars in my Pocket like Grains of Sand, our gender-based pronoun system has been supplanted by one where any individual is referred to as she unless they are the subject of your sexual attention, whereupon you refer to them as he. That is, the sexy six-legged alien I spot while cruising on the planet Velm is she unless I want to fuck her, at which point I start calling him he. Delany imagines a pan-galactic civilization in which sexual relations are understood as relative and positional, a matter of temporary and shifting intensification and orientation. Society is structured around sexual desire — but around a lack of desire as well. Desire is actually less rigidly encoded in this pronoun-system than our own, where any he is assumed to want to fuck any she by default, without room to maneuver.

This week I found myself weeping unexpectedly at a simple, word text. I love you! It was from my friend Holly, who is happily married to a man, and as lovely as it was to receive it also highlighted something: my straight friends rarely show up for me. They never come to Pride, engage with queer pop culture, or make an effort to understand what life is like for a bi person. In short: they don't see my relationships with women and people of other genders as valid. While I love being bisexual, am proud of my identity and genuinely pity anyone who has to navigate the heterosexual dating hellscape, that comment left me feeling all kinds of lonely and let down. Years before I came out, I confided in a mate that I wanted to start dating women. I laughed along for a minute before excusing myself to have a silent cry in the toilet. I faked a headache and sobbed the entire bus journey home.

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Views: 396

From: Kejora

Added: 24.09.2021

Category: Vintage

Tags: bisexual+friends

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